i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
