Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
