Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
