I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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