maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
