soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
