I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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