I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
