Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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