I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
