i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
