YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
