Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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