i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
These tits shall not be calmed
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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