normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
