Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
