Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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