I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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