I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize