Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
