You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize