we have officially lost it.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
