He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
