I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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