no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
