it wasn't lemon gatorade
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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