Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
