david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
