tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
