Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
