last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just forgot I was standing up.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
