she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
