I just made out with a guy for $7.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
