physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
