Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
