so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
