i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
