Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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