i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
