So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
