now i know why i became what i already was.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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