I'm really into asian looking animals
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
