the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
