what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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