I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
