Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
