Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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