using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize