the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize