Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
