I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
