It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
