That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
