So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
